Some new dialogue here and there does add some life, however, and the whole shebang has gotten a facelift, a tummy tuck and an entire box of Alka Seltzer, what with the beautiful new textures, lighting and animation. Since the single-player is essentially just a buffed up remake of Bad Fur Day, we implore you to reread that oldie but goodie, as the facts are largely unchanged. Put the two together and you’ve got just the smut we’ve been waiting for. Conker: Live and Reloaded offers a fresh take on this old nasty with a brand new, highly-combustible multiplayer fragfest alongside the entire Conker’s Bad Fur Day single-player adventure, now with updated graphics and a few tweaks. Well, if you own an Xbox, June might be your yucky month. The game farted on the industry’s head, and the industry loved the smell. Released at the tail end of that system’s lifespan, BFD made all kinds of last-minute waves with its adult humor, foul language, scatological obsessions and genuine dislike for all things hackneyed, not to mention its amazing piss-stream technology. Despite a quick appearance in Diddy Kong Racing and a thoroughly marginal showing in his own GBA game, the rude rodent escaped the clutches of mascot purgatory by doing what few mascots dare to do: grow the f*** up.Īnd so I doff my cap to the folks at legendary developer Rare, who had the good humor and terrible taste to produce perhaps the largest ball of snot ever fired upon the mascot race, Conker’s Bad Fur Day for the N64. Such a fate was not to befall one Conker T. Out of the frying pan, into the bargain bin. Legions of snappy penguins, encephalitic voodoo men, retarded crocodiles, confused marsupials and misguided logos wander aimlessly about the gaming landscape, wondering why, exactly, they were discharged from some desperate developer’s gray matter only to die of starvation in the desert of lost mascots.
The thing is, we see so many awful Badgie rip-offs that it’s almost become white noise. There is very little joy in telling the world you’re the proud father of “Badgie â„¢,” an extreme, rollerblading, teenage badger/monkey wearing red sunglasses and a diaper searching for the Lost Golden Relic while avoiding the troublesome Dunky Birds and eating hundreds of purple badgie-beans. It must be a nightmarish exercise in Twenty Questions before somehow arriving at a marketable cutie-pie I wouldn’t wish such mind-numbing Mad Libs on anyone.
I feel nothing but sympathy for game developers burdened with the unfortunate task of creating a brand new platforming mascot.
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